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I’ve Told You a Thousand Times!

One of the things that frustrates parents and teachers the most is when kids don’t follow a rule, even when it is repeated again and again.   A mom I talked to today told me that she was afraid her son might get asked to leave his daycare because he was biting kids every day…

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Take Frustration Out to Play

If one were trying to create a recipe for frustration, these past few months would be the winning combination. Frustration is one of our primary mammalian emotions and it arises when things are not going the way we want them to.  Not being able to move about the world as we are used to doing?…

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Never too late!

  To me, one of the most compelling things about a developmental approach is the deep faith it is built on: the faith that growth can always happen, that no one is “too far gone” to heal, transform, soften, grow and mature. When defenses soften, because something has finally made things feel safe enough for…

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Let’s Talk about Time-Outs

Let’s talk about “time-outs” . . .* As mammals, attachment is our greatest need and our strongest drive, therefore, separation of any kind is what causes us the most distress. Separation, even anticipated separation, triggers our primal emotions, which are: frustration, alarm and pursuit. When we withdraw our presence from our child when they are…

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Attachment Roots Day 6: Being Known

Attachment Roots Day 6: Being Known. We’ve arrived at our final stop on our journey through the attachment roots. In the sixth year of life, the capacity to want to be fully known opens up. This is the age when it occurs to children that their parents don’t automatically know all their thoughts. If the…

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