Attachment Roots Day 4: Significance

Welcome to day 4 of our journey down the attachment roots! The attachment root that we will explore today is where things can “go off the rails” as one of my colleagues at the Neufeld Institute describes it. This means that we are now getting into much more vulnerable territory than we have been in…

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Attachment Roots Day 3: Belonging/Loyalty

The possessiveness of the two-year-old is familiar to all of us (“MY mama!”) and is a sign of this attachment root in action. Loyalty to us can be seen when the child seeks to “protect” us from a perceived threat or when they announce that they will live with us “forever.” More importantly, though, is that…

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Attachment Roots Day 2: Sameness

Yesterday we explored the first, most simple way that babies attach to their caregivers during their first year of life–through being physically close to them. For so many of us, our understanding of how attachment works ends here. But there are more, deeper, more vulnerable modes of attaching that are important for us as parents…

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Attachment Roots Day 1: Senses

One of Dr. Neufeld’s great contributions to attachment science is his model of the Six Attachment Roots. If you have ever taken a class me, or through the Neufeld Institute, you have heard about these roots as they are central to the Neufeld Paradigm. The first root,  referred to as ‘Senses’ or ‘Proximity’, is the…

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This Thanksgiving I’m Thankful For…

One morning when my son was three, we ordered drinks at our local coffee shop. As he carefully took his mug full of steamed milk from the barista, I said “thank you” to her. She gazed at him with the look I’m sure all parents are familiar with: the look that is an adult saying…

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