Infographic: Attachment Roots

Dr. Gordon Neufeld created a model of attachment that provides us with so much more insight and direction than Bowlby’s secure/insecure/avoidant attachment model. In the Neufeld model, we see how attachment can unfold in the first six years of life, with each...

Self-regulation is Adult Business

Parents often ask me for help in getting their kids to “self regulate.” These parents report that their eight year-old tells them he hates them, that their eleven year-old slammed the door after a rough day at school or that their five year-old has tantrums that last...
Is Your Child Armored?

Is Your Child Armored?

Thank goodness for defenses. While we sometimes view defenses in an adversarial way (“We’ve got to tear down those defenses!”), they actually exist for very good reasons. Their job is to protect us from vulnerability that would be too much for us to bear (in general,...