The Vital Connection

A Power-to-Parent Course created by The Neufeld Institute

Eight-week Course Begins on April 3rd, 2019

You Can't 'Pass Go' without

The Vital Connection

The Vital Connection focuses on the child-adult relationship as the crucial context for raising children. We will explore: how this relationship is meant to develop, what can go wrong, why parents must matter more than peers, how to cultivate a context of connection and how to 'win back' one’s child if need be.

Attachment-safe and developmentally friendly discipline strategies are also introduced.

The Vital Connection delivers the best that developmental science has to offer to those who are our children's best bet - parents and those who support them.

The effect of the material is to restore parents to their natural intuition as well as to their rightful place in their children's lives. The principles and dynamics apply to children of any age; the course explores issues and challenges facing most every parent.

The Vital Connection offers a complete approach to parenting. Rather than dumbing parents down with prescriptive solutions and superficial strategies, this class truly informs and educates so that parents can become the true experts in their children’s lives.

The basic attachment and developmental needs of children are uncovered so that parents can become the answer to these needs. Challenging problems are explained is such a way that the root problems can be addressed.


What You'll Learn:

Session 1: Why Children Need to be in Right Relationship to the Adults Responsible for Them

  • what makes a child easy to parent
  • the pitfalls of parenting without sufficient power
  • the difference between power that is natural and force that is contrived

Session 2: How a Child`s Relationship to the Parent is Meant to Develop

  • what keeps a child from developing a deep relationship to a parent
  • what causes a child to back out of attachment: the problem of defensive detachment
  • why time-outs and the silent treatment can backfire

Session 3: How to Harness the Power of Attachment

  • how to create a context of connection
  • why we need to back out of the incidents and into the relationship
  • how to get an alpha child to relinquish control

Session 4: How to Keep From Losing a Child to Competing Attachments

  • incompatibility and the dark energy of attachment
  • what causes attachments to be incompatible
  • why attachment incompatibility is escalating

Session 5: How to Preserve (or Restore) the Ties that Empower

  • assume responsibility for fulfilling a child`s attachment hunger
  • take responsibility for the relationship
  • use structure & ritual to cultivate connection and protect the relationship
  • refrain from using discipline that divides
  • soften a child's heart in order to deepen the attachment and correct dominance problems

Session 6: How to Deal with Aggression Without Disrupting the Connection

  • What moves a child to attack: the primary role of frustration and attachment
  • Three alternative outcomes to frustration that will keep a child from attacking
  • How to keep a child's aggression from disrupting the vital connection
  • How to effectively address an aggression problem

Session 7: How to Deal with Resistance Without Sabotaging the Relationship

  • Why some children are compelled to resist and oppose
  • How counterwill is mistaken for willfulness
  • Seven steps to counterwill-proof a relationship
  • Defusing counterwill: nine ways to reduce pressure & coercion
  • Reducing counterwill: harnessing the power of attachment

Session 8: How to Use Discipline that is Attachment-Safe and Developmentally Friendly: Seven Strategies for Imposing Order

  • do all things in a context of connection
  • draw out mixed feelings instead of demanding self-control
  • aim for sadness when a child is up against futility
  • take control through changing the circumstances, especially when unable to change the child
  • script the actions of the immature to buy some time for the child to grow up
Handmade Parenting Color Tea bag 150px
Handmade Parenting Color Tea Cup
Handmade Parenting Color bowl and whisk