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Don’t Cut Those Apron Strings…

Adolescence: a time to “get back your life,” to “let go,”, to “push independence”…or, maybe not. These common cultural ideas around adolescence  don’t actually reflect what our teens really need from us.  When their children become teenagers, parents often feel that their job is somewhat “done;” that they can devote more time to their pursuits:…

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Got Alpha?

Meeting our children’s attachment needs is our number one job as parents. Our number two job is to make sure this attachment is in the correct hierarchical order: with parents in the Alpha* position and children in the Dependent* position. For many of us, there is a resistance to standing in a place of authority…

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Being Your Child’s Best Bet – Part 3

I hope you have enjoyed Parts 1 and 2 in the “Be Your Child’s Best Bet” blog post series. Today, we will conclude this series by exploring “But What do I do When X happens?” with the unspoken part being “Because you said I shouldn’t be giving time outs/punishments/consequences!” This is a very common question…

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Being Our Children’s ‘Best Bet’ – Part 2

Yesterday we explored what it means to be our children’s ‘best bet.’ Today we’ll look at some common parenting practices that take us away from being their best bet and, in fact, can lead to our children distrusting us and believing that they need to hide parts of themselves from us. Before we continue, I want…

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Be Your Child’s ‘Best Bet’ – Part 1

My teacher, Dr. Gordon Neufeld, speaks alot about the imperative for parents to be their children’s “best bet.” In a series of posts over the next few days, I’d like to explore this concept. What Does it Mean to be our Children’s “Best Bet?” Being our children’s best bet means that in times of trouble,…

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