Saying it Plain

If there were a food that your child wanted to eat and you knew that if they ate it they would be at increased risk for: anxiety, depression, eating disorders, bullying, sexism, obesity, radicalization and being preyed upon by sexual predators, would you let them eat it? If they really wanted to eat it (all their…

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We’re Not Birds!

Some birds won’t learn to fly unless their mother pushes them out of the nest. Many parents of teenagers assume that we need to do the same thing for our teens. But guess what? We’re not birds! In addition to not having literal wings, the trajectory of our development happens in a different way than…

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Playdates?…No thanks!

I remember my relief when I first heard Dr. Gordon Neufeld, in talking about peer orientation, say that playdates weren’t important. I couldn’t believe my ears! Did he really say that playdates (and “socialization”), which were touted by teachers, pediatricians and parenting books everywhere as necessary for healthy development, weren’t necessary…and that they might even…

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Creating a Village One Meal at a Time

  In thinking about all the things I do in the service of “good parenting”, by which I mean creating the conditions conducive to my boys’ growth and maturation, there is one that is so simple, so indirect, as to almost slip right under the radar. And, yet, when I turn my attention to this…

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The Magic of “Once-Removed”

  Do you know about the magic of “once-removed”? Children need to feel their vulnerable feelings—sadness, loneliness, longing, loss—in order to mature. In fact, emotion is the engine of maturation. Children don’t get to choose which feelings they feel: either they feel them (all) or they don’t feel them (at all). The vulnerable ones are…

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