Don’t Cut Those Apron Strings…

Adolescence: a time to “get back your life,” to “let go,”, to “push independence”…or, maybe not. These common cultural ideas around adolescence  don’t actually reflect what our teens really need from us.  When their children become teenagers, parents often feel that their job is somewhat “done;” that they can devote more time to their pursuits:…

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You Can’t Teach Kindness

Social-emotional learning programs in schools are getting a lot of airtime (not to mention a lot of money) these days. As a parent consultant who works from a developmental perspective, many parents are surprised that I am not enthusiastic about these programs. Don’t I care about children being empathetic? Yes, but if it’s going to be…

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What’s a Developmentalist?

If you’ve taken a class with me, read my blog, or if you follow my posts of Facebook or instagram, you have probably heard me describe myself as a developmentalist. And, maybe, you are wondering what that means; let me explain: Developmentalism is a theory of human development that rests on the foundational belief that…

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Got Alpha?

Meeting our children’s attachment needs is our number one job as parents. Our number two job is to make sure this attachment is in the correct hierarchical order: with parents in the Alpha* position and children in the Dependent* position. For many of us, there is a resistance to standing in a place of authority…

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