What Does it Mean to Have a Soft Heart?

In my classes and parent consulting sessions, I talk about the importance of a child having a “soft heart.” This is an intuitive term often used by my teacher, Dr. Gordon Neufeld as a kind of shorthand meaning a child who is able to feel their vulnerable feelings.  Why is it important to feel vulnerable…

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The Sensitive Child who Doesn’t Look Sensitive

Often when we hear a child described as sensitive it conjures up an image of a child who cries easily and often, is keenly attuned to the feelings of others and is physically weak and frail. It’s true that kids who present this way are often highly sensitive, but what would you think if I…

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Saying it Plain

If there were a food that your child wanted to eat and you knew that if they ate it they would be at increased risk for: anxiety, depression, eating disorders, bullying, sexism, racism, obesity, radicalization and being preyed upon by sexual predators, would you let them eat it? If they really wanted to eat it (all…

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We’re Not Birds!

Some birds won’t learn to fly unless their mother pushes them out of the nest. Many parents of teenagers assume that we need to do the same thing for our teens. But guess what? We’re not birds! In addition to not having literal wings, the trajectory of our development happens in a different way than…

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Playdates?…No thanks!

I remember my relief when I first heard Dr. Gordon Neufeld, in talking about peer orientation, say that playdates weren’t important. I couldn’t believe my ears! Did he really say that playdates (and “socialization”), which were touted by teachers, pediatricians and parenting books everywhere as necessary for healthy development, weren’t necessary…and that they might even…

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